Sunday, July 17, 2011

I Married a Man, Not an ISP

When my husband and I first married, neither one of us watched much TV and we decided to cut costs by going without internet. This probably made us a rarity in the 21st century, but we still made it for the first couple years with no internet and so until fairly recently, we didn't have much by way of media keeping us from each other.

Now that we have internet (and smart phones and so on), I find that I must be more purposeful in protecting the time my husband and I have together. His job already takes a great portion of his time and I try to structure my days so that whatever time he has at home is not time that I am spending on the internet. However, I'll be the first to admit that this is hard to do!

For example, when I think of a question, it's so easy to want to google the answer. And of course, when you start jumping across all of those internet links, it's so easy to just keep on reading. Before I know, precious time that I could spend on my husband has been lavished on my laptop and that's just not how God would have me order my life.

From childhood, I learned that the relationship of husband and wife mirrors that of Christ and his beloved church. To my way of thinking, spending too much time on the computer or downloading music to my iPod takes time away from what should be the deepest, most intimate human relationship of my earthly life. In that sense, if we do not examine our bahaviors and prayerfully manage our time spent with social media, that media can become an idol in our lives and it can come between us and our husbands. This is something I earnestly try to avoid - hence my attempts to limit computer usage to times when my husband is not home.

However, as with many things, social media can be a positive in marriage, too. I can send my husband little love emails during the day or forward him something I think he will find uplifting or amusing when he has breaks between tasks at work. In that sense, media helps strengthen the bond between us. As with so many things in life, social media is neither intrinsically good nor inherently evil. We simply need to exercise discernment in how we use it.

Written as part of

14 comments:

  1. Definitely pros and cons. I think I need to send my husband more love notes too :)

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  2. As Shanda said, pros and cons. I always send my hubby love texts and fb messages as well. But we need to be careful, guard our hearts and our marriages. Great post.

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  3. Great post, once again it's all about balance.

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  4. I love what you said, "I find that I must be more purposeful in protecting the time my husband and I have together." What a great insight into having a great marriage. Great post!

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  5. I'll be the first to admit that technological gadgets and media can be very distracting. It is wise to find a balance when using these resources so, like you mentioned, they do not become an idol to us.

    I also liked the point you made that when our husbands are at home, we should be giving more priority to them and NOT the computer. This is so true!

    Great post!

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  6. I agree--it's so easy to turn to technology instead of each other! Thanks for posting about protecting your marriage--and taking steps to do so. :)

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  7. Balance with all things is important. My husband and I often sit in the study, each at our own computer doing "stuff" and discover we haven't spoken for the whole time we have been together. But neither of us mind as it's qutie cosy just being together!!

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  8. Something that has helped us immensely is making Sunday a media-free day. We are now "forced" to hang out with each other because we don't have the internet or TV to distract us. We don't always follow the rules, but we are doing better! :)

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  9. Well said!! As much as I enjoy technology, balance and human connection need to be priorities! Thanks for sharing.

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  10. This is such a great post! I do believe moderation is key for many things in life, including the internet. It can be great, but it can also be bad and take to much of our time.

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  11. I LOVE the image you used for this post! So fitting. Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
    Lots of Love,
    Courtney

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  12. Hubby and I have recently started to texting each other throughout the day. He works long hours and it really helps to be able to communicate this way and stay somewhat connected while he's at work. Heather

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  13. Thanks for your sweet comment over on my blog, Amy! I'm so glad you enjoyed it! MacDonald definitely is worth the search and investment. He takes such delight in God. I enjoyed this post very much, as well. God has been working in me to recognize the ways I allow myself to be distracted from the real heart of life, the people I love, and serving them. Great thoughts.

    kristen.

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  14. Great post! Moderation is so important and that is one thing I struggle with! My marriage is so important, however, that it's worth doing my best to protect our time!

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