Friday, February 10, 2012

Trusting His Plan

"Trust in the LORD with all your heart,
and do not lean on your own understanding."
- Proverbs 3:5

nursery 3-1

I'll say it flat out, both bold and shaking with fear all at the same time.
"God, sometimes I just don't know what You're doing."
"Why, God, why?"

I know one of the major desires of my own heart. For so long, even since I was a child, I knew I wanted a home and a family of my own. I have been blessed with so much in life, a wonderful and godly husband, a good education, loving friendships, and plenty of happy memories. But one by one, my friends and family have all settled into their own households with children and still - no babies.

And it's hard. It's hard to long like that and to wonder why. And sometimes on the really dark days, to wonder what's wrong with me that God would not trust me with a child. And yet deep down I know. God has a plan. I don't pretend to know it all or understand, but He has a plan for me and for everyone else on this earth.

There are hard days, but God is faithful. God is there. And even when it hurts, I trust. I trust there is a plan, even if it doesn't unfold at my pace or as I might wish it. Human understanding doesn't illuminate all, but I can trust in One who knows what He is doing, and this brings comfort even when the longing will never quite go away.

---------------
This was written in five minutes. Well, mostly five minutes. I did take time to look up the Scripture reference because, "I'm pretty sure this is somewhere in Proverbs" wasn't quite what I wanted to post as a citation. Five Minute Fridays are a day to just let out the joy of writing freely. Come join!

37 comments:

  1. Stopping over from the 5 Minute Friday. I have not walked your journey, but I know that God is faithful. May you be encouraged and strengthened as you continue on trusting Him!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I just prayed for you...may God show you His faithfulness in a new and transformative way today! I'm glad I stopped by from 5 Minute Friday. Hoping and praying for joyful news soon.

    ReplyDelete
  3. such a true sign of faith and trust...when the path doesn't seem to be quite right to our human eyes and yet we follow God on this path, knowing His outcome is and will be better than anything we could ever dream
    love your humor at the end...."I'm pretty sure this is somewhere in Proverbs"
    blessings to you as you follow and trust Him
    btw, thank you for your visit

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks, Kerri. And yes, I do have those moments where I can remember the verse but not the exact reference. Drives me crazy! :)

      Delete
  4. Amy, thank you for sharing your heart! I so completely and utterly echo your words!

    Love you gal! God does have plans, even when they don't make sense to us. Don't lose hope!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks. And I just have to tell you that your words have been so helpful as I read your book and your blog. And God's plans for you look like they're unfolding in such exciting ways!

      Delete
  5. "Human understanding doesn't illuminate all, but I can trust in One who knows what He is doing,..." I like this thought. In the midst of our struggles, we cannot see the whole picture, much like when Joseph was sold into slavery. God had a plan for Joseph's life as he does for yours. Continue to hang on to Him, trusting that His story will be fulfilled in your life.

    ReplyDelete
  6. We're going through one of these seasons right now... where all our planning and stepping out in faith keeps ending up completely different than how we imagine. God keeps changing our journey to put us where He wants us to be, not where we think we *should* be. And we must keep trusting... Thanks for sharing your heart on this word. Blessings to you!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh, blessings to you, too! And yes, these seasons that don't go they way we think they should go are such a challenge, aren't they? But I know God will keep walking with us both through them!

      Delete
  7. Just as soon as I forget it, life reminds me that God does have good and sound plans, even when they seem incoherent to us. I am walking a parallel story, friend, and I urge you to stay in the word and focus on Christ, Christ, Christ. Prayers and hugs!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Friend, I am walking through a story parallel to yours. Lean into Christ, rely on Christ, depend on Christ. He does have a plan, as incoherent as it may seem. Big prayers and big hugs.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you for the prayers and encouragement. Saying a little prayer for you, too. I know it's a hard road to walk sometimes.

      Delete
  9. Heartbreak that I understand well. I hate to even voice that, because I do have children now and sometimes that can be like a cut, but I well remember. I have suffered miscarriage and years of wondering "why". I generally don't even share my story with women, because I've been the woman in the crowd thinking "why not me? what's wrong with ME!???" I wait for God's prompting to tell, and I feel like I should tell you - MIRACLES happen. Trust Him, He knows what He's doing. Even fertility doctors don't know where my two children came from, but I DO. He is faithful. I lived in Lamentations 3 for years. Praying for you!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you so much, Amy. Your words mean a lot and I really appreciate you sharing. Some days it's easier to hope than others, and hearing about the miracles is so encouraging.

      Delete
  10. Oh sweet Amy. You rose to that challenge with your heart open wide.
    proud of you.

    and I find myself asking "why can't we see just a bit more of the big picture, God? It would make the longing so much easier..." and He reminds me that I'm missing the point. And even when I realize my trust has to turn into a gut-belief, it still hurts.

    sending you hugs and thanking you for the chuckle--loved your 'somewhere in Proverbs' remark. I'm sure I've said that! :)

    all for Him,
    Nikki (simplystriving)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ((hugs)) Thank you so much for that encouragement, Nikki!

      Delete
  11. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Oh, Amy, my sweet friend, my heart yearns for you. Your faith, in the midst of confusion, echoes tender. I know He hears. I know He sees. Even when we cannot. Sending prayers and hugs.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you so much, Denise! I really appreciate it.

      Delete
  13. Oh sweet friend...
    Heart aching for you as I read this post.
    It's so hard when you still can't see-around-the-corner or look from on high to get His big picture, to understand His plan.
    I'm going to pray right now that He will give you an extra measure of His love and comfort today and that He'll allow you to see His fingerprints somehow in the midst the waiting and the unknowns.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, Kara! I know you've had those moments, too, where it is just so hard to see His plan, and I so appreciate your prayers and understanding, friend.

      Delete
  14. The longing really hurts sometimes, but there is joy in the morning...His mercies are made new every morning.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, oh yes. Every morning seems like a new chance sometimes!

      Delete
  15. Oh Amy, I read this and my heart ached for you...thank you for continuing to trust God with your desire and your disappointment... praying that God would continue to uphold you...sending you a hug, if that is okay?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh, hugs are always okay, Dolly! And thank you so much for your kindness and your prayers.

      Delete
  16. I'm approaching my 43rd birthday, and still childless, and it's not always a happy feeling. Sometimes, I try not to think about it because it just hurts too much. When I saw the picture of the baby room, I almost cried, seriously.

    Thank you for sharing this testimony, and you composed your feelings so well in only 5 minutes!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you. And I know just what you mean. It really is hard some days, and then others God reminds me of joy. Praying for you, too, sweet friend.

      Delete
  17. I have to remind myself of this, too: "Human understanding doesn't illuminate all, but I can trust in One who knows what He is doing, and this brings comfort even when the longing will never quite go away." As an "answers girl," I sometimes struggle when I don't know answers. But comfort DOES come when I remember God knows and His thoughts are higher than my thoughts. Thanks for the reminder today.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Your words bring tears to my eyes because I could have written them myself... We must trust His plan. There are things ahead and reasons we can't possibly understand. Hugs and prayers to you, friend!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hugs and prayers right back to you!

      Delete
  19. God knows each of us so well to be able to put his finger right on that place in our heart that causes us to come to him in need. I'm so thankful he's gracious and kind in his dealings with us as he works out his plan. Thank you for sharing your heart Amy.

    ReplyDelete
  20. I am so sorry for your hurting heart. I of course have no answers, just the ability to link up in prayer with you. God is using your brave faith to help others in similar situations.
    Sisters in Christ,
    Allison

    ReplyDelete
  21. Trusting and believing with you, Amy. Praying that God responds to the deepest desires of your heart.

    ReplyDelete
  22. It is not easy to trust.. but it is worth it =) Hang on! =)

    ReplyDelete
  23. My heart aches as I read this. My own sweet daughter is where you are now. Though we do not understand, we continue to trust in a God that has the perfect plan. Thank you for sharing your heart. I will be forwarding this to my daughter.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Amy, you are so right that God is faithful and has great plans for us. It's hard to see that when that truth is clouded by our discouraging circumstances. But, keep believing what you know is true about God. He will come through for you, dear sister. "Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the LORD delivers him out of them all." Psalm 34:19 God will deliver you. He promises it twice in Psalm 34:17, 19. You will be delivered. It's not a matter of if. Is is only a matter of when. :)

    PS. I discovered your blog through the Time Warp Wife linkup. I love your blog. So glad I found it!:)

    ReplyDelete